Take Nothing For Granted

Amy’s Story

Written by: Amy Burgess

This is not supposed to happen to me. I’m an oncology nurse. But, here I am, writing about my own cancer experience. I was teaching a group of women at a Ladies’ Luncheon about breast cancer. I gave them each a card that showed them how to do a self-breast exam and demonstrated the technique. This prompted me to do my own exam when I got home. When I did my own exam, I felt a small spot that was harder than the rest. But, it was so tiny, and I guessed that it was just a gland that might be inflamed. For 2 weeks I thought about it. I had just had a mammogram 6 months earlier that was clear, so cancer couldn’t have popped up that fast...right? I sure was tired, but I worked 12 hour shifts at the hospital in the Oncology Unit, so the fatigue wasn’t from the cancer-- it was just work related...right? I’m only 48 years old, too young for breast cancer... right? During my shift at the hospital one day, something or maybe it was God, told me to take a break and go to the Women’s Center and let the Nurse Practitioner check this spot. I secured my patients with the other nurses and went down to the Women’s Center. Probably nothing she said, but let’s get another mammogram on Monday. Monday changed my life.

During that first mammogram and biopsy that followed, the radiologist said to me, “Don’t you want to call your husband and have him here with you right now?” I answered No. I just wanted to spare my husband any pain if possible. Well, I couldn’t spare him. That’s the thing with cancer. It touches everyone around you whether you want it to or not. Everyone close to you goes through this journey with you: each with their own fears, their own anger, their own hope and their own pain. But, what ultimately makes it okay is that you are all in this together. And, whatever the outcome, you have each other to lean on.

Each cancer patient has someone, whether it is family, a friend or nurse, maybe a church member, but someone who is special to them that they lean on and just could not survive this disease without. My sweet husband Paul was that person for me. Without him, I don’t think I could have faced this. He is the sweetest, the most caring and the most God-fearing man I know. My husband just stepped right in and took care of me, took over the cooking, shopping and housecleaning, took care of the boys and our dogs. I never had to ask for anything. If I thought about it, he had already done it. He even shaved my head when my hair started falling out.

I was extremely lucky to have several other people in my life who supported me. My sweet father in law called me every day to check on me. My brother and adopted brother took over my elderly mom’s care, so that I could do my chemo and radiation treatments. My niece drove up from Atlanta and took me to my chemo treatments. I know it was hard for her because we lost her mother to brain cancer twelve years before my cancer diagnosis. Somehow, my niece still supported me through her pain.

Cancer leaves a negative financial mark on all of us. I had a loving friend who baked cupcakes and sold them to help us through. I had another friend who bought and sold candy to all my friends to help us financially. How do I ever thank these wonderful people and my other friends who donated money to us to help us buy groceries and pay the mortgage? I never knew that my friends could love me so much or give of themselves so much. This part of my cancer journey has taught me to be so grateful for these friendships and the family I have.

But don’t get me wrong, there were some very dark days. Before my sister died of brain cancer, we had some very long conversations. She taught me to always pray and thank God for each day. Never at any time through her disease did she ever lose faith. I couldn’t understand how she was so faithful to God even though she knew she was dying. I was so angry at God for taking her. But, it took a good friend to teach me that while God doesn’t give us cancer, God does give us strength to get through it. During my chemo, I thought back to how great my sister dealt with her disease and hoped that my attitude would change and be more like hers. I know I asked that question that everyone probably asks, “Why me Lord?” I didn’t feel very grateful most days. I felt angry and sad. Eventually, I did pray and thank God for every day that I woke up. Slowly, my attitude got better. Slowly, I stopped feeling sorry for myself. Slowly, I started to feel hopeful!

I now work as a hospice nurse. Some days, it is hard because I talk to families of young women who have breast cancer and are at the end of their life’s journey. I know God has put me in a job where he can use my experience with cancer to help me to better relate to these families. I feel extremely lucky to have 4 years cancer free. For me, it is necessary to pay forward the love, generosity, kindness and support that has been shown to me. My experience with cancer has given me a desire to help others who are going through what I went through. I also want to show those people that supported me through this how grateful I am that they are in my life. Every day is a gift that reminds me to appreciate what I have been given. And every day is another chance to make someone’s day brighter.

Oh sure, I have days where my attitude isn’t perfect, but God knows my heart and knows that even though my attitude might not be the best every day, I am truly grateful for everyone in my life who helped me survive my journey with cancer. My hope is that I can help other cancer patients and families the same way that I have been helped.