This Is My Cancer Story That Spans What Seems To Be A Lifetime
Cissy’s Story
1978
My husband and I were high school sweethearts. We started out as best friends, but soon figured out it was something more. We always had great fun and I loved him and our adventures. We were married in 1978 and moved to Knoxville, TN in January 1980. We have been through more than most but have always made it through the tough times to get to the good. We have a great life. Steve can after all these years still make me laugh. We had been married 10 years before we had children. Michael was born in 1988 and Maggie in 1990. We loved living in Tennessee it seemed like home after living there that many years.
1996
In 1995 we had a hard family decision to make. My mother had Alzheimer’s Disease and could no longer live alone. So, in June we made the decision to move back to Rome, Georgia, our hometown. It was the best thing to do.
In December of that year, our lives changed forever. I found a lump in my breast and it seriously kind of freaked me out. It was just a few weeks before Christmas and I couldn’t bare ruining that for my family. I did however make calls to get an appointment to get a mammogram. That became a difficult task as I didn’t have a female doctor yet and couldn’t get in any of them till end of January. I just had a feeling waiting was not a good plan. So, I got creative and called some friends who were nurses, and we developed a plan. I ended up with an appointment with Dr. Ken Davis on Dec. 26th. At which time, he did a sonogram and scheduled me for surgery January 2, 1996. No one in my family had ever had cancer, so it was possible this lump was just a cyst of some kind. He was not alarmed by it. I had decided not to worry about it either.
January 2, 1996, I had a lumpectomy. When the doctor called, he wanted me and Steve to come to the office. I asked him if it was cancer and he did say yes but when we came in would get more details.
He did say not to worry. After I hung up, I got a feeling of peace, I know it seems odd, but in letting it soak in that it was cancer, I knew I would be alright.
I knew that God didn’t bring us back to Georgia to look after my mom, to just take me away from her and my family. So, I knew whatever Dr. Davis told me, we would be alright. The results came back as stage two. It was caught early and my diagnosis was very good. I went back for surgery to remove lymph nodes to check for cancer that had possible spread. Nodes all clear and the next step was to meet with Dr. Gerald McCormick, and I started Chemotherapy, and when finished, I started radiation with Dr Matthew Mumber. This whole cancer journey started January 1996 and my treatments completed on October 14th 1996, our 18th wedding anniversary. To say the least, it was celebrated!
I made it through with wonderful friends and family. The only thing I wanted to eat was my mother in law’s homemade Mac n Cheese. When treatment got hard, our friends and family made me fight harder. Steve made me laugh, we learned so much during that year.
We learned that laughing was good medicine. Laughing was good for yourself, and everyone around you that is also worried about you. Even to laugh at the hard stuff helped make it easier.
This leads me to some of the funniest stories. When you have young children, sometimes they literally do say the darndest things. After my hair fell out and I was wearing a baseball hat all the time, my kids would say I didn’t look like myself (like their Mommy). My sweet husband found a guy who owned a salon and made wigs for Cancer patients. Steve gave him a picture of me, and he found a wig just for me. He opened his salon up after hours, fit it, trimmed, and shaped it and it looked great, very much like my haircut and color. So, when my kids saw me, they said “Mommy you like yourself now”. We were all smiles. That same night our son had a baseball game at the YMCA. As we were sitting in our chairs and chatting with everyone, Maggie came up and was so excited she pulled on my wig (which made it come up off my head) and said, “look mommy has hair and looks more like mommy again”. Everyone just laughed and it was wonderful.
So, I’ve mentioned my mom having Alzheimer’s and I did not tell her I had cancer and I hid it as best I could. After my hair fell out and before I got the wig, Steve would visit with my mom and pick up her laundry and make excuses for why he was there instead of me. Then, I got my wig and went back to my usual routine with her. All was well until the hot weather came and my hair started coming back. As my hair grew the wig was terribly uncomfortable, so I just wore my short hair as it was. I’d leave work, put my wig on and go visit Mom. That worked really well, until one day I had to take her to a doctor’s appointment. It was early afternoon and I left in a hurry and forgot all about my wig situation. I go in to get her and she is waiting for me, along with a lobby full of people and staff (Staff all knew about my cancer). I did not realize I had a problem until I walked in and a staff member tried to alert me to the fact I didn’t have my wig on. She was waving and tapping her head and I was really confused at what she was doing. Then my Mom stands up walks over to me and says (for everyone to hear) “What have you done to your hair?” She was shocked. Now I knew what the lady was trying to tell me. So, I said, “I got a haircut, do you like it?” She responded, “I sure hope you didn’t pay for that because it is horrible. Why would you get it cut so very short?” She was an amazing woman and she taught me so much about life and the importance of being a positive person. I think I am a stronger woman now because of her.
We learned a lot about going through cancer treatment. We learned first and foremost that, together, we are stronger and more resilient.
Second, I learned I can put on a happy face for my children and in doing so actually made me feel better. Being a positive person rubs off on people, even yourself. Most of all, we learned to be thankful. We all have so much to be grateful for, our friends, family, humor, a beautiful sunrise or the moon. You must find something good about every day. It makes the journey so much better.
2013 to present
Fast forward seventeen years and its January 2013 and it was time for a mammogram, and that day did not go quite like I thought it would. After the mammogram, they said they needed to do it again. Then they said they wanted to do a needle biopsy. They asked if the Sales Representative could be in the room since it was new equipment he was trained on and he was there to answer any questions. Afterwards, they said they had medical students doing their clinical rotation and asked if it would it be alright if they could be in the room. I said it was okay but, in my head, I was thinking, “all those people won’t fit in this little room”. After that, I knew I was probably headed to some not-so-great news. I was referred to Dr. Melissa Dillmon, Oncologist and Dr. Paul Brock, Surgeon. Followed by many tests, scans, lab work and more appointments. At my next Dr Dillmon appointment, she explained what the results were. “The PET Scan shows abnormal activity” and she said I was lit up like a Christmas tree. I was diagnosed with Stage four Metastatic, in my bones and liver, HER2 positive, breast cancer. I was eerily calm. I knew what it meant because I had lost a friend with this diagnosis several years before. I knew what I was in for, knew I had to be strong and be OK with that. But much like 1996 diagnosis, I felt it would be ok. God, after all, decides my fate. I really had no control over that, but I did know it wasn’t my time to go yet. I had some experience under my belt so to speak, I would be strong for my family. The hardest things I ever had to do was tell my “grown” children just how bad the cancer this time was. Both in college, with bright futures, and now they were worried about me being around to see it.
You have heard the saying “Let go and let God”, well that sometimes is easier said than done. When this diagnosis hit, I knew I had to make a choice. I had to choose to fight, choose to remain positive, choose to be happy.
Not just for me, but for my family and friends. Believe it or not, it really helped me get through some really bad days. There were bad days; days sometimes so bad you just want them to end. 2 Chronicles 15:7 prepared me for that fight, it says, “But for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded”.
There would be more tests and appointments before the treatment plan would be formed, and I decided I had to remain calm and know God will be in charge. Dr. Dillmon found a newly approved trial that was very promising for the cancer I had. I would have a Chemo regimen every three weeks, heart echoes, bone scans, CT scans, and PET scans every three months. So, the next 9 months were going to be tough, very tough. I was going to be sicker than I ever was before. I wasn’t exactly prepared for that. I lost all my hair shortly after my first treatment, I looked pretty bad and felt worse than I had ever felt. My family was worried, and I knew it. I knew I had to find a way to stay positive, not just for me, but for them. It was a decision I had to make. I was reading Philippians 4:7 one day and it says “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding…” and I didn’t exactly understand that but it did make me understand that I wasn’t alone in this fight. It’s also important to keep the faith, even when tested. I do believe in miracles as I have seen them.
I have so many stories from over the years to share, but a story about a miracle is special. In late August of 2013 I was at my scheduled PET Scan. My daughter was in the waiting room, and at this point, I already had two previous scans and was dreading this one. Not because they were painful, because they are not, but because I was always so cold in there. I would wear leggings and a long sleeve t shirt, and they would give me a warm blanket. That helped but I was always still cold. In all my different types of scans or MRIs, I always try to rest and meditate, and it would calm me because it can be quite stressful. Maggie had a friend praying for me with her for while she was in the waiting room. While I was in the PET scan, I had the most amazing thing happen, it started to warm up. I realized it started at my head and flowed down my body. I was warm all over, and it was so surreal, like a dream. I came out of the scan completely at peace, knowing I would be alright. When I came to the waiting room Maggie explained her prayer. When she finished her prayer, she said she felt that I was going to be alright. We both felt it. (Jer. 29:12-13: Call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find Me when you search Me with your heart.)
To say 2013 was a tough year is an understatement. It was a blur at times. I felt so bad I didn’t realize what day it was. Food wasn’t good, but one day my son brought be a vanilla Frappuccino and it was the best thing I had in months. He then brought it on a regular basis. However, it was also a good year. I was alive to see my daughter graduate from college and became an RN. The tumor in my breast had shrunk enough so I could come off of one type of really nasty chemo (Taxatere), and I had a mastectomy which I was unable to get in the beginning.
I thoroughly enjoyed Christmas that year. I was feeling better and I was enjoying life and food more. We celebrated and we were thankful.
In 2014, I continued with infusions every three weeks, bone shot every four weeks, and the whole list of scans, labs, and appointments. The best part was my hair was finally coming back and I was feeling better.
I am still on the same treatment regimen every three weeks that I have been on since 2014, and due to my cancer diagnosis, I will remain on it indefinitely. I will most likely not Ring the Bell to signal someone has completed their treatment. And I’m ok with that.
Being a Cancer patient, your life is full of schedules, chemo, doctor appointments, tests, lab work; you live on schedules. You also tend to live in increments of when your treatments are. Mine is every three weeks. I always feel best toward the end of the three weeks, so that is when we plan family outings or trips. Even something as simple as going to the movies and eating popcorn. Things I’ve learned over the years to include doing things that make you happy: grab a book, sit outside, and soak up some sunshine. Find joy in the little things, it will get you through the big things. Find humor any way you can, laughter is stress relief. Relationships are important, they are the support system that help you stay strong even when you might not feel you can be. Sometimes with everything life throws at you, it may seem hard to keep up with friends or family, but make it important, make it a priority. You will be grateful later for it later. I have so many people to thank, like my friends, family, and neighbors. They really are the best. My sweet husband has put up with me all these years and never seems to complain about it.
Since 2014, I have seen my daughter get married and my son get his dream job. I have taken “Bucket List” trips with my family. I was present for my grandson’s birth in 2015, and I am blessed enough to take care of him and love him. I’ve taken vacations together with my family, as well as individual trips with my son and daughter. Those have always been special because I have each of them to myself. When they grow up its hard to find that special time. I’ve been to the beach, which is very therapeutic for me. My son moved to Scottsdale, AZ for his employer. I never knew I would like the desert, but my trips out west have proved I love it. Steve and I have taken some trips to get away and explore new places. I’ve been to Universal Studios with my son and daughter and to Disney with my grandson (he loves roller coasters as much as I do and that makes me happy that I have been able to see that). I have so much to be thankful for, I am truly blessed.
I started taking a photo/selfie of myself starting the very 1st treatment. It was quite by accident, but my daughter took a picture of my husband and me on that day and I decided it might be interesting to have a photo journal of it all, not realizing all these years later, I would still be going to the Cancer center. I also try to look nice. Having makeup on makes me feel better, while it may sound vain. Going through cancer can bring you down and pampering yourself every now and then is worth it.
I was given a book by my daughter by Priscilla Shirer called FERVENT. It is about how to have a battle plan that works, and it is prayer. The cover says, “A woman’s Battle Plan for Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer”. Your battles can be anything, mine is Cancer. I love all of her books but this one help me focus on what was important.
Anyone that knows me knows I love movies and superheroes. There is a paragraph that when I read her book, I marked because I loved what it said so much, I wanted to be able to find it again and again.
It reads:
PRAYER IS THE PORTAL THAT BRINGS THE POWER OF HEAVEN DOWN TO EARTH. IT IS KRYPTONITE TO THE ENEMY AND TO ALL HIS PLOYS AGAINST YOU.
Lastly, I wasn’t too sure about writing this, but I have found it to be very cathartic. It has made me look at my journey with a whole new appreciation.
