No Regrets

Nelle’s Story

Written By: Lynne Reagan

Blindsided. That is how I felt sitting in the doctor's office as he explained that Mom's test had come back with strong indicators that she had ovarian cancer. 

How could it be that Nelle Reagan, this force of nature who was my mother, could have this insidious disease? My mother, who has been a health nut for most of her life and who, at 83, could run circles around me.  Who counted nutritionists and doctors nationwide as her close friends. Who was still doing a daily radio talk show after almost 50 years on Radio in Rome.   

It couldn't be. 

As we drove home in silence, both lost in the what-ifs, we had no way of knowing that within 72 hours she would be in a critical condition. 

14 days and 18 doctors later, we were sent home . . . the cancer had progressed to a state that it was untreatable. Pain management and her comfort were the goals now. 

I would sit with mother as she slept, and often I was filled with regret for the times I didn't call or times I was less patient with her than I should have been.  One morning in the wee hours, she very suddenly said,  

"Sis. I just want you to know that I have no regrets. I have had opportunities I never thought I'd have, I've done almost everything I wanted to do. I have precious children and grandchildren and a great-grandson, and I have very wonderful friends and co-workers." "I don't want to leave, but if Jesus wants me home, then I am ready to go." 

She went on to say,  

" I don't know why God has allowed this, but if He gets glory from me going through this then, I know it will be ok." "Do you know how lucky I am to be able to say my goodbyes now?  Most people do not get to tell people what they want them to know before they die." " I would like to go on air one more time to say goodbye, and I'm sorry I never got to meet my great grandbaby... so maybe the Lord will let me stay until I can do that." 

So, I put the word out . . . she wanted to see her friends and for the next several weeks she had so many visitors that we had to have an appointment calendar to keep from having a house full. 

So, she held court... The "Queen of Mass Media" as coworker, John Druckenmiller, called her, or the “Queen of Cripple Creek" as she was known during her country music DJ Years on WLAQ ,  said her goodbyes.  She wanted her makeup and hair done, sat up in the bed, and she had no pain she on the days she saw friends; she was sharp-minded and alert.  

She told everybody almost without exception the same thing she told me . . . That she had no regrets.  She left everyone in awe of her grace, her courage . . . and her faith that someday there would be "a glad reunion day," and for everyone to get ready if they were not already.  

She was able to do one last Radio broadcast on WRGA, so she could tell her audience of 50 years how much she loved and appreciated them. And, she got to meet her great-grandson, Asher Kingston Barton, on her 84th birthday, and his 2nd. 

On February 7, at 5:49 AM, I got one last chance to tell my mother that I loved her, and that morning we both had No regrets.  

“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9