The Human Condition

Shelley’s Story

In the fall of 2019, I found a lump in my breast.  I was 39, healthy and active with no risk factors for cancer.  Surely, this was nothing to worry about, but I made an appointment with my doctor to be certain.  Two days later, I was getting a mammogram, which led to an ultrasound and biopsy.  I spent a weekend waiting for the biopsy results, and on that Monday I heard the word I didn’t think I would hear – cancer.  Two weeks later, I had surgery that successfully removed the cancer.  Further testing revealed that while the cancer had not spread to my lymph nodes, genome testing and the fast growing nature of my tumor made me a high risk for reoccurrence.  So in late January 2020, I started the first of four rounds of chemo, followed by six weeks of radiation.

I was in shock with my diagnosis.  I was scared but mostly worried about how my diagnosis would impact my husband and daughters.  I wanted to protect them from what I felt like was the burden of my cancer, and I was very worried that I was passing down a genetic risk factor to my daughters. 

But I have since realized this has taught them resilience, and that it is okay to ask for help when you need it.

Chemotherapy and its side effects were much harder than I thought it would be.  With our families both living in Canada, our co-workers and friends became our family locally, and pitched in and help provide meals, rides to the doctor, care packages, and hosted our daughters for sleepovers.  We were truly overwhelmed by people’s capacity to love and care for us during our time of need.   Summit Quest was also an invaluable resource during this time, with the girls and my husband being able to go on a climbing excursion during the start of my chemo treatment.  I was aware of Summit Quest through my work at Redmond, but after living through cancer, I am now so thankful the Rome areas has a resource and support system for children and families impacted by cancer.

Half way through my chemotherapy, the COVID-19 pandemic started.  I had taken a medical leave of absence from work so I could focus on my treatment and healing.  We had already been semi-quarantined at home since I was immuno-compromised, but the pandemic forced us to quarantine even further. The stress of balancing treatment, recovery and now home schooling two children, ended up being a time that we now cherish. Our family was together, quarantined at home, and we able to spend dedicated, quality time together. We realize this would not have been possible had I not been diagnosed with cancer at the same time as a world-wide pandemic.

Throughout my treatment and journey I learned many things, but the main one is that the human condition is one where we thrive by loving and caring for one another.  

My husband was our family’s pillar of strength during this time, although he also was dealing with the stress of the situation as well.  I am forever thankful for his love and support.  I also learned that the mental and emotional anguish was just as hard, if not harder, than the physical battle.  The highs and lows of going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment seemed to be the one constant throughout.  There were times when I felt pretty sorry for myself.  But in those moments, a friend or family member would reach out just when I needed it. 

It may sound bizarre, but I have come to appreciate being diagnosed with cancer.  It reinforced that the important things in life are not things, but the relationships we have with each other.